Sex in a much-needed conversation about race

After several days of refusing group hang-outs and instead, catching up on American music and books, I went out with two American journalist friends and a former AP reporter in Delhi who is Indian. All ladies --so much to talk about.

So we landed at a square table in Shalom-- a restaurant where the men waiters look a lot better than the food tastes--and the cathartic blabbering began with a topic ceremonious among girlfriends-- men!

Right away, the Indian lady talked about her Caribbean-born Indian husband who feels like a double immigrant. He's not exactly able to call the black Caribbean home, and then, after moving to America, he still wonders how his estranged Indian heritage forms his identity.

His double immigrancy was an expressway to talking about race and double consciousness: that historic feeling held by many black Americans who know their claim to America but can't reap the rewards of this claim.

Being so far from America, I've been struggling to articulate my ideas about race, but last night, we four women arrived at some points that are never too late to make.

And here, I'll share them with you.

Me: I experience the stares in Delhi, like I imagine anyone who looks different in this city would. But once people learn I'm American, suddenly I get the open door.

Indian lady: When they see you're American, many Indians just see money. If you ever need to hire an ass kisser, hire an Indian! Indians know how to kiss ass like nobody else!"

Me: I really feel racism at home in America. But there's a distinction. I experience a lot of prejudice. Racism happens when we start talking money, hiring, and systems. A study in Chicago showed that resumes with white names were 10 times more likely to be called for an interview than identical resumes with black names. See that's racism.

All my life, I've battled the perception that my race marks me as unintelligent. I can't tell you how many times I sat in a waiting room for an interview just to realize the other folks waiting for me were expecting a white person to walk in the door named "Malena." The idea that a black person could be so ambitious never crossed their mind. And I still get followed around in a boutique. Black people are tired of being criminalized.

[Later]:

Indian lady: I'm tired of people calling Obama African American. He is not African American! He's biracial. He's not even a son of a slave! Why can't America have a biracial president? Then it would really be a victory. For white people and for black people. I just don't get it.

American reporter 2: I think when it comes to race in America, race is whatever the public needs it to be at the time. Right now, black Americans needed Obama to be black, to claim their victory. But whites needed Obama to be black too, to relieve the guilt that the country can't elect a black man.

Me: Like so many Americans, Obama was not born black, but he became black, having the identity imposed on him. But also, Obama chose blackness as a political and social identity. But let's be honest, Obama wouldn't have stood a chance of winning if he were married to a white woman. That would have stole his claim to blackness in the eyes and blacks and threatened whites who still fear black men sleeping with white women.

Your bread?